I believe grief to be a transitory emotion that can be guided to result in a constructive outcome.

Grief can lead us to both positive and negative emotions. For example grief can result in our being
more determined to love and treasure others. Grief can also transition into bitterness and blame at
not having spent more time with a loved one who has passed on, or into resentment and rage at the
poor choices made by family.

The first step of guiding our grief is to understanding that grief can occur often and affect us
intensely, but that it is a part of life and that we have the choice to guide the transition towards a
better and constructive outcome. The next step is to acknowledge that we grieve over something
that we cannot change. This not only refers to the finality of death, but also to when we are unable
to change the decisions of our loved ones or even regarding our own past decisions.

Grief is good for us when it is progressive, allowing our emotions to move rather than stagnate, and
ultimately to be expressed at a safe time and manner. However when grief stagnates, its inertia
begins to weigh heavily, and can burst into intense episodes of depression, bitterness and rage, like
storms in the bottle of our hearts.

Grief reminds me of these words in the prayer of serenity:

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Managing grief takes great courage and should not be belittled. Often times we find ourselves
already amidst the storms in our hearts, with the intensity of emotions causing us to alternatively
explode in tirades or robbing us of all strength in our limbs. Remember that you don’t have to face it
alone, to seek help from loved ones and professionals, and above all that with God in the vessel of
our hearts we can smile at the storm.

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Bon Eloquence from the heart